I have made a decision.

Joe has been gone nearly two weeks now after R&R. And I am not sure why but I was more nervous about this deployment than the 2 to Iraq. Not about his safety, but the length of time he would be gone and how I would handle it. With the Iraqi deployments I was working and only had Little Joe. I focused a lot on my job and Little Joe's health (which was pretty poor at the time). With the Iraqi deployments the longest we were apart was 7 months. Now I am now faced with at least a year of not seeing my husband and staying at home with three children full time. The first 5 months of this tour I have basically locked myself in the house with the kids (granted I was very pregnant some of that time) and I only ventured out to grocery stores and some Mom's Club activities. The fact that we live in the country on some beautiful property made this even easier. After a lot of prayer and a particular sermon that has struck me I have decided this is MY year. I was praying for God to show me what to do. I was praying for for strength and purpose. Then I heard God say, "This IS your purpose. Think of the role model you could be. Think of the MOTHER you could be." And that was it...I decided...I will not let the fact that Joe is gone keep me from living. I will go out with friends. I will go see movies. And I will be the best Mom AND Dad until my husband returns. I want to amaze him at what we have done and how we have grown. And I want to show other spouses of deployed soldiers that 12-18 months can be done. I will not put life on hold until 2010. 2009 is my year :).